I have never joined in before, and when I said yes, looking back I realise I was at a low ebb and thinking that if I tried to be like the others in the office I might not be so unhappy there. But no...........if I had been
a) wearing a short tight cheap dress
b) had a paper hat on
c) blowing up balloons and blowing on those annoying whistle things every five minutes
d) shrieking really loudly over the music
e) drinking excessively
I might have enjoyed it.
As it was, every fibre of my mind and body wanted to be somewhere else.
I felt as if I were in a Wacky Warehouse for grown ups.
It was not good.
I was the first to leave, and not one person there would have missed me.....and why should they? in fact you may be reading this and thinking 'miserable bitch', and that is fine. I should have listened to my inner voice. I should not have tried to be someone else, and perhaps make the others feel uncomfortable by me being there. Never again.
We cannot all be the same, we all like different things and behave in different ways.
Such is the way of the world.
I cannot do forced jollity, and the best times of my life have been with friends and family - never work colleagues.
Last night as I mentally counted down the minutes until I could leave all I could think of was 'what is it with these people? they are like oversized drunken 3yr olds staggering about in a noisy noisy environment of flashing lights'.
It truly was a wacky warehouse for the middle aged.....I hated those places when my kids were small and nothing has changed.
So ..... yet again my work colleagues will think me peculiar.........and I will go back to being true to myself and not try to fit in. I hope they all had a good time. My good times are just different to theirs.