Friday, September 14, 2012

Mixed emotions.....

We are back from a couple of days at the coast (courtesy of my sis/brother in law and niece) and had a lovely time......good food, drink, excellent company and just generally enjoying being away from stresses and strains of normal life back here.
We woke up and saw signs of sunshine each morning..


and checked the sky to see lots of blue...

It was a relaxing little mini break.
I think that if you need a break, it does not have to be a long break......holidays of two weeks are great but a couple of nights can be all you need.
We visited long enough to catch up, to unwind, and to have a good time.
We came home and felt refreshed.

Today was back to GP visits/Pharmacist consultations/problems with medications for Ma and trying to tell Pa that is was ok that he had bought a mango instead of an avocado....everybody makes mistakes and he is getting to be beyond stressed just lately and displaying signs of wear and tear.
I can understand why people of a certain age used to employ companions or nurses or housekeepers....my parents are beginning to need to have someone to help out in various ways and as much as I love them I cannot see a future where that role falls naturally to me in a full time way and I will be able (or truthfully want ) to do it.............I work and I live an hour away from them.......sigh......I suppose worrying about the future is pointless just now anyway so in fact what will be will be...........
I only know that on the radio today, I heard that if you had a stressful job, where you had no control over any part of it, (and I do hate my job too so that doesn't help ) that you had a high chance of having a heart attack........which is not what I need to hear when I feel the responsibility of caring for aged parents.....
Pause...........................have just read back what I have typed and feel very disloyal and ever so slightly 'poor little me'.......and yet.......and yet......my parents are in their mid eighties, I am a 58 yr old 'sandwich generation' working woman, who I guess is just whinging a little bit, and in this instance, I am going to allow myself to do it.
And book lots of little mini breaks.

8 comments:

Nana Go-Go said...

Not whinging at all - I heard that same article on the radio today and thought it a little scaremongering but at the same time didn't tell us what we already know about stress. It's all about managing it, really and I think you're doing a grand job with your parents.As far as the caring goes, I wouldn't be too quick to take on all that responsibility by yourself. You have siblings - the 'duty' to your parents should be equally shared, if at all possible and it's surely what your folks deserve (you know all of this yourself, naturally).Keep enjoying those mini-breaks - guilt free.Have a great weekend, Libs and thanks so much for popping over to mine and leaving your sweet comment. Wish you had an email address but maybe that's a good thing - I'm apt to write screeds and screeds to you!!!Ciao for now.

Steve said...

This country makee it damned difficult to hold down a job, have a life and care for those we love.

About Last Weekend said...

You are not whingeing at all! You are a great daughter spending loads of time with your Ma and Pa (that story of the avocado and mango was sweet and sad at the same time). It makes me realise that we live a 12 hour plane ride from Mum and Dad and when the time comes we will be worse than useless with all the helping out. I also think we should not feel guilty about getting help. (I've not heard that expression "sandwich generation" I'm going to google that now.)

Marcheline said...

We're all in the same boat, with fears and older parents and our own mortality looming... it's not whinging, it's trying to come to terms with things by talking them out.

That, and a good glass or two of wine, and on we go!

P.S. I'm with you on the small breaks... my hubby and I are going to spend one night at our honeymoon retreat this month to celebrate our 10th anniversary!

Curry Queen said...

I completely understand how you feel re,yr mum and dad. My mum has been on her own for 27 years since my dad died and she's now getting very frail. Although we have carers going in once a day (about which she is very resentful!) I feel we are fast getting to the stage where that's not enough but she is dead against going into a home. Dilemma! I also live an hour away from her and there is only me to take the strain (disinterested sibling syndrome!) it's bloody hard and I don't know the answer!

Trish @ Mums Gone To... said...

I always felt guilty living so far away from my parents, particularly when it was such a strain for my mum looking after Dad. But you just do what you can and, if your parents are like mine, they don't want to uproot their children or be a burden either. Mum was happier getting help in for Dad instead.

Mini-breaks are a god-send.

That first photo has reminded me I need to get a new Roman blind for our bedroom - all the sticks/poles have fallen out!

libby said...

Thanks for commenting everyone...it seems, as I suspected, that there are a lot of us around....just doing the best we can and hoping for the best.

Lottie said...

You shouldn't feel disloyal or that you're whinging... it's exhausting mentally and physically caring for elderly parents - I hope you do book lots of little mini breaks and take time out for you - they're very lucky to have you and I really hope they appreciate their daughter xxx