In the late 70's I used to live in Brighton.
In various student flats, and I can't remember the address of any of them now.
One was above a beautiful bakery I recall........
Anyhow, in early May, me and the mister are driving my Ma and Pa to stay with
my sister in Whitstable, and instead of coming home/going back, we decided we
would deposit Ma and Pa, and then have a Saturday trip to Brighton, staying over for one night.
When I lived there I was single, and in an unsettled state of mind.
Recently out of a relationship back home, and trying to escape from the dawning realisation that Ma and Pa had claimed me as the one child who was going to be what I think of as the Prodigal sons sister -staying at home - I had taken refuge by moving away from our Midlands town, and was living with my sister who was a student there, and I was not.
She very kindly accepted having her elder sister living with her, and we did have some fun times, but mostly
my memories of being there remind me that I was in the wrong place at the wrong time trying to live the wrong life.
My sister never lived at home again.
Neither did I, but I did return to the Midlands.
Brighton reminds me of old boyfriends.
Reminds me of music.
Of sitting on the beach alone with a book trying to look
mysterious and captivating....and failing.
Reminds me of how little confidence I had back then.
Reminds me of time spent being among a crowd but feeling alone.
Reminds me of opportunities that I never took, and roads I didn't travel.
Reminds me of wishes I made on moonlit nights.
I don't for one minute think that I will recognise most of the place now.
It is a curious feeling, knowing that this time around, I will be walking the pavements with the man
I love, that I married and had children with, when so many years before I had been in the same
streets either alone or with the boyfriend of the time.
Back then, my future was ahead of me, and now I know how my life worked out.
Sometimes a frightening thought and sometimes a comforting thought.
Still the sister to the Prodigal son.