Friday, August 12, 2011

Remember my friend? ......

..the one whose husband is having an affair? We had a drink after work tonight......one cheap drink each....at the end of the week ......and I think that she has some direction, some minute speck of hope that one day she will be happy again and living an independent life. There are still teary eyes nearly every day, and times when she is overwhelmed....but this is her hope....that one day all this pain and unhappiness will be in the past.
This is what I tell her, hoping that what I say will make her feel better, that one day she will be living and functioning and enjoying a life where she is the boss of her (the things that she is slowly revealing about her life with him are very sad) and no longer hurting as she does. I don't know if my words help or not but they are all I have. If we had money to spare I would help her, but as neither of us has any cash, we are going to (stupidly I know...but it was her suggestion) put 50p together each week and buy a lottery ticket.......I know we will never win , but that £1 a week might bolster up what little bit of hope she has.
She is putting the house on the market.....she has been working herself ragged over the last few weeks, doing a full day at work with me and then painting the house at night, and will accept no offers of help,and sprucing up her once happy home, in order to achieve the best possible price.
If it sells there will be no money over.....it seems now that the lifestyle he lived (holidays/concerts/football/nights out) was funded by her, and tonight she admitted that she is now looking for a part time job for the evenings ....through necessity.  He has moved in with his latest fling (he is apparently a serial womaniser) and my friend is looking for somewhere that she can live in alone as she starts a  single life.
Without wishing life away, it would be good in this circumstance to fast forward if possible and see her in a home of her own and not in pain. One day at a time I suppose...one day at a time.


ps...and my other friend has a birthday today.....have a good one AGx

5 comments:

Kelloggsville said...

That's stinky - that is all I have to say (I've been trying to leave comments on your other posts but I keep getting blocked)

Nana Go-Go said...

I can safely say that yes, she will have a home of her own and not be in pain.....but that`s on the far horizon for now. You`re being a good friend to her and doing your best at it....you can`t do better than that. Have a good weekend, Libs and TFIF! x

About Last Weekend said...

You're a great friend. One of our friends is going through a terrible time with one of their children and I realise they just want someone to listen to their sorrow. I have to stop myself trying to give them advice as i think they just want to talk. Good idea about the lottery ticket too

Steve said...

Grief can take a very long time to work through... it only comes to an end when the griever is ready to let it go and move on and that can be a scary thing. I wish your friend well. Nothing lasts forever - not even pain and unhappiness.

Macy said...

Been there, done it, got the T Shirt.
Sighs.
What can I say except that there are times when the sound of couples squabbling in B&Q makes me glad I've got my own place, and times when I would give anything to have somene else to share the great wallpapering decisions with.