Saturday, February 6, 2016


Ma stood by the sideboard and said to me 'did you see that letter from the surgery?'.
I said 'Yes I saw it on Monday'.
Ma shuffles across the room and sits down on the couch.
I pour her a cup of tea.
She starts looking at the stuff on the little table next to her.
I take a sip of tea.
Ma picks up an envelope and says 'did you see that letter from the surgery?'
I say 'yes I saw it on Monday'.
She takes a sip of tea.
I tell her that I've brought her some raspberries and blueberries and was there anything else she wanted?
'But when you come back from the shops I'll show you this letter I've had from the surgery...'.
'I've seen it mom....the one from Dr ______?' .
'I saw it on Monday'.

Pa is climbing some stairs in B+Q, slowly, using his stick and the handrail and with me closely behind.
They do not have the light fitting he wants.
On the way down, and near the bottom, he slips and  misses the last step, but thankfully he doesn't fall over, just stumbles, and as he does, he thwacks me on the ankle with his walking stick.

Putting the shopping away later, water comes gushing out of the bottom of the fridge.
'I told you there was water there.' says Ma to Pa.
'Yes I know... sorry' says Pa.
I dry it up and make another pot of tea.
'Did I show you that letter from the GP?'...asks mom.

The rain has not stopped all day and there is a lot of traffic. There is a queue to get into the supermarket.....where I am going, with Pa, to get the one tin of polish my mom wants.

As I turn around I say to Pa 'this is crazy...I'll get it another time'.
Pa says.....'well just tell your mother you couldn't find it'.
'She want's to show you a letter she had from the surgery....'

Just in case you are reading this and have concerns about the letter from the surgery there is no need, but the repetition of comments and actions and questions etc., from mom is scary and tiring and boring and worrying, and makes me feel guilty when I am driving home and feeling happy and free.


Andy said...

Sounds very very tough - I know its easy to say, but don't feel guilty. You're doing huge amounts for them.

Nana Go-Go said...

It's tough, I can tell and will probably get tougher but it wouldn't do any harm to look into some professional help for your parents for the imminent future. You can't do all of this by yourself. Have a restful and guilt-free Sunday. xxx

Joanne Noragon said...

Some things are hard, and ageing parents are harder.

Cro Magnon said...

I'm ashamed to say that I found it all rather funny. I hope when my time comes to repeat everything 20 times, that people find me funny too. Having said that, I suppose it must be quite worrying; especially your dad slipping like that.

libby said...

Andy.....thanks....I opened a bottle of rioja when I got home and felt much better!
Nana.....I'm sorry for them most of the time but it can be wearying..thanks for the kind words.
Joanne..very true. I hate to sound like a moaning minnie but yesterday was just one of those days!
Cro...Y'know when my mood is right and I have a good day with them I can find it funny too and we laugh about the 'getting old journey'.

Tom Stephenson said...

I bet Pa was in B and Q on a Wednesday? (I get 10% off on Wednesdays for being over 60... On those days, the shop is a sea of white hair...) That's all I can say right now, I suppose.

libby said... and my ocd thank you for commenting. I too am over 60 and must investigate the Wednesday deal........and as much as they drive me mad I know how lucky I am to still have them above ground.

sensibilia said...

Homebase does the 10% off for over-60's on a Tuesday. I agree with Nana. You should look into getting help. It's not funny, and it's only going to get worse.
I hope when I get to be so old I that at least one of my daughters will be even half as good as you are.

libby said...

S...thank you for such a kind comment.

Trish Burgess said...

It's the repetition that gets me with my auntie though most of all it's the fact that she has forgotten conversations from one day to the next which can be draining. I'm so grateful she is in full-time care as I know she us being looked after. But it's easier for me to accept this as she is my aunt rather than my mother. I don't feel guilty, instead just huge relief.
Sending love and lots of empathy. X

libby said...

Trish...thank you x

Twenty seven.

For now anyway.