Saturday, July 17, 2010
letting go....
For nearly 20 years, she has been the little star in our universe that we would satellite around.....baby clinic, nursery, playgroup, school, swimming, ballet, riding, guides, youth theatre, parties, sleepovers.....lifts here there and everywhere for her and sundry....the house has been sometimes full, and messy, and noisy.....and like a precious flower she has been fed and watered and kept out of storms.........and she smiles and she hugs and laughs and sings and cooks and cares....and today is off to play football for charity and because her boyfriend is driving her and there will be lots of mates and going out afterwards .... there was a breezy 'it's ok mum you don't have to come...enjoy your saturday...' and I felt....well, such a mixture of emotions..........yes it's great that she leads her own life..heaven knows we have been preparing her for it forever....and we have only ever been included when she has asked us to, so it was'nt as if we were never letting go....but...but....in a few short weeks she will leave this city to live in another one as a student and during these last few weeks I feel like I want to hold her and have my baby back....where did she go? and once she has gone, like her brother, she will probably never live at home again...like him will be a regular, welcome, happy visitor, but no longer live at home.....who rings regularly, comes to lunch, and is leading a happy grown up life..and for that I am truly thankful......I have been blessed with two children....and pretty soon the house will be different..me and the mister will be in the next phase.....I love the mister, and look forward to whatever our life is going to be next....but I just want to cry right now.....
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8 comments:
And so you should. This is worthy of grief. And grieving will help you... I won't say "let go" because I don't think you ever do, but I think it will certainly help you move on. Just remember: once a mum always a mum.
I felt like that when my children "left". But don't worry you soon get used to it. Just be pleased she's happy and independent, you've obviously done a good job.
Oh Libby you've started me off. I can read all types of posts and usually keep an objective distance but this one has touched me, probably because I know I'm going to feel just the same in a few short years.
I don't know what to say to help, so I won't try. But I'm with you every step of the way x
Kind kind people...thanks for your words. I feel better now, visited my mom and she told me how she had a bit of a bump in the road once we had all left home....and she reminded me how we used to make coleslaw together and she missed that...strange the memories we have is'nt it?...but my baby scored 2 goals and had a great time and I am going to join a choir so roll on september!
I do wonder how my mum felt when I left home. She's never really spoken about it, but I suspect she felt on similar lines to you. I suddenly feel the urge to speak to her.
Madame...then, if possible, give in to that urge and speak to her...if she is still with us then ring/write...if she isn't then just talk to her with your heart...
I know love xxx
Don`t worry - they come back, only there`s usually more of them when they do!(friends,girlfriends,boyfriends)- it`s a big old scary exciting world out there - watch them fly!!!!
p.s. thank you for your kind words too.
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