Monday, December 31, 2012

Endings and beginnings......

In 6 hrs we will welcome in 2013 and bid farewell to 2012. Unless something hideous happens between now and midnight (fingers, eyes all crossed) then I will think of this last year as a good one. My measure for this is easy, and each year I thank the Universe and Mother Nature that yet again no one has died, no one is in prison or hospital and we are all still above ground, with a roof over our heads, beds to sleep in, water in the taps, food in our larder and love in our lives. Blessed beyond measure really.
I wish you all health and happiness, peace and love in 2013.

Friday, December 21, 2012

And now we can begin.....

As work drew to a close today I sighed with relief and felt so good about not being in again until next Thursday, so now I have 5 days of being at home, being with family, seeing friends, eating, drinking......living, loving and laughing.....how wonderful is that?
Forgive the repetition, but once again I am posting this Ivy Heart photo as a Christmas card to all of you. Happy Christmas everyone.......health and happiness to each and every one of you.
May you live, love and laugh over the festive season and have a happy and healthy new year.

Friday, December 14, 2012

The good old days......

Once upon a time I used to wear shoes like these......

but now, older, wiser, thicker of ankle and happy to be closer to the ground, I only put them  on when I see a pair like this and squeal with excitement cooing 'but they are beeeeaaauuuuutifuuuuuul' and my daughter allows me, gingerly, to try on the fabulous new Kurt Geiger-killer heel-black suede pair that her boyfriend has just given her as a Christmas present.  I needed her assistance to stand upright in them, and when she took the photo I was balancing one hand on the chest of drawers, and I wish you couldn't see the wire for the tv under the chest of drawers and that my ankles didn't look so thick, and that my toenails were painted....but the shoes.....look at the shoes .........sigh........

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Tradition.....

When I first started dating my husband, at our '1st Christmas', I gave him a Christmas card, and he didn't reciprocate. He will only 'do' cards under sufferance. I learned something about him then. He has a few odd little quirks, that over the years have embarrassed me or infuriated me but most I have found endearing...... 32 years later there are things that he does that drive me mad, and there are things that I do that drive him mad.....but mostly we both appreciate the whole person.  One of those little 'but I don't do that.....I don't see the point' things, that I now agree with,  is buying/sending shop bought greeting cards. So since they were tiny my kids have always made cards.....I have boxes of birthday and Christmas cards and drawings. My treasure. Stuff that I should really part with I suppose......but .....no...never gonna happen.
 My husband is not mean though......far from it. He is a very generous person and just always had an issue with 'over priced bits of cardboard'. He buys flowers for me, is always considerate and kind and if you cut him in half you would see 'gentleman' writ large through him just like a stick of rock. All those years ago, after Christmas, I put away the card I had given him, and then unpacked it and 'gave' it again the next year, and the next and the next. It made us both happy. So every year we get out 'our card' and up it goes.  Christmas traditions.......the turkey, the homemade trifle, the bucks fizz start to the day, and putting up of our card. Continuity and love celebrated yearly in the placement of one tiny bit of cardboard.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

What is it with these people?????

It is a truth universally acknowledged.......that you should listen to the little voice in your head saying 'no, don't do it - you'll be sorrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeee'. So as I know this to be true, why, some weeks ago did I agree to go on a work 'dinner/disco/xmas' night out at a local hotel?
I have never joined in before, and when I said yes, looking back I realise I was at a low ebb and thinking that if I tried to be like the others in the office I might not be so unhappy there. But no...........if I had been 
a) wearing a short tight cheap dress
b) had a paper hat on
c) blowing up balloons and blowing on those annoying whistle things every five minutes 
d) shrieking really loudly over the music
e) drinking excessively
I might have enjoyed it.
As it was, every fibre of my mind and body wanted to be somewhere else.
I felt as if I were in a Wacky Warehouse for grown ups.
It was not good.
I was the first to leave, and not one person there would have missed me.....and why should they? in fact you may be reading this and thinking 'miserable bitch', and that is fine. I should have listened to my inner voice. I should not have tried to be someone else, and perhaps make the others feel uncomfortable by me being there. Never again.
We cannot all be the same, we all like different things and behave in different ways.
Such is the way of the world.
I cannot do forced jollity, and the best times of my life have been with friends and family - never work colleagues.
Last night as I mentally counted down the minutes until I could leave all I could think of was 'what is it with these people?  they are like oversized drunken 3yr olds staggering about in a noisy noisy environment of flashing lights'.
It truly was a wacky warehouse for the middle aged.....I hated those places when my kids were small and nothing has changed.
So ..... yet again my work colleagues will think me peculiar.........and I will go back to being true to myself and not try to fit in. I hope they all had a good time. My good times are just different to theirs.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Zero..

Well hello......back again.....would like to blog something but have nothing interesting to say...(never stopped me before I know.....) so will just wave and say hello and wish you all well.........and throw open the floor for any questions or suggestions (clean ones only people!) if you feel you would like to help me grasp on to my blogging mojo as it seems to be wandering off..................have a picture anyway.



Sometimes this is just the right thing to hear......

Gavin Bryars...Jesus' blood never failed me yet.........look it up on youtube. I love Tom Waits and the one time I saw him live in Lon...