Wednesday, June 30, 2010

I have two more payments to make on my car....I bought it new 3 years ago, and although it is not sporty, or flash, I love it. I have been driving for over 35 yrs and have been lucky enough to never have had an accident. Until last week, when someone did'nt see me apparently, and decided to move into the lane I was occupying, bashing both passenger side doors and sill. No one was hurt, so in the best sense, there was no harm done...but although the driver apologised at the time, I suspect that now getting them to admit to liability will be an uphill struggle. The car is still road worthy and I don't want to 'pretend' to have an injury, I would just like to have the damage fixed, and not be out of pocket, as it was'nt my fault.......am I being naive?

Sunday, June 27, 2010

These things I know. Not all lying is bad. Counting in your head is slightly odd I grant you but also very calming, and does'nt hurt anyone. Eating and drinking and not exercising means I will never wear a bikini again. Whatever the 'government' (ha bloody ha) does I already know I will probably have to work until I drop. Loving and being proud of your kids is the best feeling in the world. Standing in the garden and calling your cats name when she has been missing for hours makes you feel like an idiot with regard to the neighbours but you don't care. My husband has a mountain to climb and all I can do is be behind him in case he falls. I feel safe if I have a secret £50 note stuffed in my purse. Cramp in your feet and legs at night is a bugger. There are lots of things I want to say in this blog that I don't yet feel able to write down. Whatever the family think quorn burgers (only for me, not them) are not the work of the devil and do not taste like cardboard. I am scared of almost everything. The only place I know is inside my head. My friend from school and I have decided that for our age we look ok. Turning on the tap in my kitchen and drinking clean water whenever I want is a wonderful wonderful thing. I am an underachiever. Cake is pleasure on a plate.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Yes....I know I am repeating myself here....it bears repeating....today is FRIDAY......one more day of work and then a weekend at home...sunshine....garden...friends...my proper life...not the weekday 8-5 one which I consider to be just something to get through in a haze....terrible waste of a life there I know but what can you do?...SO....free time...pottering...garden..did I mention sunshine, friends? and did someone mention football?

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


Back from the seaside, the family reunion, the caravan adventure, the 'well I've planned and worried about it all for months and now here it is .... gone...done...behind me....and all was well'.

Have had a lovely time and now have to settle in for a few months of work, work, work, and looking forward to the next adventure.......

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

This is me with my mom.......she is 80 today.....she is loving, infuriating, caring, blind, exasperating, funny....and I am very very very lucky to still have her here to kiss.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

My daughter (19) and niece (20), set off this morning for the Isle of Wight Festival. They have a lovely tent (put up in the garden earlier in the week to test that it was still ok from last year), they have camping chairs, sleeping bags, wellies, suncream, and mobile phones. They have money, and skin wipes, and torches. They have each other.
Forty years ago (yes 40) I was young and carefree and I too went to a festival. I had what I stood up in and a little money. I had the fur coat I was wearing to sleep in (sorry people...it was ancient even then and people still wore fur). I had friends with me. I have never forgotten the good time I had, although I constantly felt slightly anxious the whole time as it was the first time I had been to a festival. Sometimes now I will hear a song on the radio that stops me in my tracks and takes me straight back to that time.
Why is it that I will be worried about them both for the next 5 days?
Just as, I suppose, my mother worried about me. When I arrived home she made me stand by the back door and strip off the jeans and t-shirt I had been wearing the whole time.....would'nt let me into the house. The fur coat was burnt, I think, and she made me have a hot bath in case I'd 'caught anything sleeping in a field like that!'.........I had caught something, a taste of not living at home, and sleeping under the stars, and a love of music that made you catch your breath and stop your heart.
What do you do if you are aware that a group of people in a shop are stealing? what do you do if they are somalian? eastern european? ..and stealing from more than one shop....using mobile phones and carrying very large (very good quality) handbags.....what do you do if they are stealing, amongst other things, baby food and nappies, and what do you do when they are challenged by a shop assistant and then become very aggressive? what do you do when you want to do the right thing?

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I'm surprised the house is'nt floating off into the horizon, with the amount of rain that has fallen today.....torrential does'nt do it justice. Thunder, lightning, and my husband laughing at me because I wondered if we should unplug the electricals and switch off the lights? am I the only person who, as a child, used to hide in the folds of the washing on the clothes horse during a storm ?

Monday, June 7, 2010

Spoke to my son today.....things may be afoot workwise....please send good thoughts out into the ether if you feel so inclined..much appreciated......Hello, my name is mother and no I won't ever stop worrying, pleased to meet you.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Have been away for a short break....another country, other sights, smells, tastes.....had a lovely time.....will return one day hopefully.

Sometimes this is just the right thing to hear......

Gavin Bryars...Jesus' blood never failed me yet.........look it up on youtube. I love Tom Waits and the one time I saw him live in Lon...