Thursday, April 29, 2010

Stating the bloody obvious I know, but as a latecomer to the party, I think that blogging is just...well...so addictive .....I'll need new reading glasses soon as I seem to be spending so much time flitting from blog to blog and post to post and am sometimes overwhelmed.....each new site has lists of other sites and then I have to have a look at them......and as I am a little bit OCD (for little read quite quite quite OCD..) it's all proving to be a bit aaaaagggghhhhh....in a fun sort of way.......weird huh.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Oh my goodness...she has just driven up the road, with a boy mate in tow, in her own car, on the way to the pub for early evening dinner (no drinking she promises) and then will drop him off at home and then... drive herself home for the first time.......I feel so 'oh that's it then....my baby does'nt need me anymore'...how silly is that?

Monday, April 26, 2010


Oh happy day!!!!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Rufus Wainwright concert last night....lots of wine, pink fizz, lager....and a seat in the Gods that almost gave me a nose bleed....had to move to lower ground at the interval. My goodness that boy can sing.

Monday, April 19, 2010

When my mum was 16, she left her home in Ireland and came here to the middle of England to visit her father who was working here, and sending money home. A beautiful, innocent, non smoking, non drinking, young girl. To hear her tell the story which unfolded, she met my father, a city boy, and at a dance one night, her juice was spiked with alcohol (she is still to this day a non drinker) and she 'fell' from grace and became pregnant.....they married and my elder sister was born. We sat alone and talked at one point yesterday about my sisters birth, 60 years ago, and the things she told me made me understand a little more why their relationship has been such a rocky road. The labour was long and painful...her baby was breech, manhandled by the midwife into delivery, blue and with her features 'flattened' at birth.......these are my mums words. Never an easy child, always crying, with calipers on her legs, one funny eye, a speech impediment....and always a reminder to my mother that 'she had fallen and God was punishing her..' Three years later my brother was born, who was and is to this day, my mothers

joy....tall, successful...and spoilt rotten by her. My sister would possibly be described as 'special needs' although it is very difficult to say in exactly which way...my younger sister and I have spoken often of how 'different' she is...........when she was 8 or 9 my Dad took her to Lourdes. Maybe the waters or the wishing made a difference, her limbs straightened a little. My parents relationship has been a grim 60 years of blame, and guilt, and regret and emotional turmoil that has coloured the lives of us their children. ........one little act...all those repercussions...all those people affected. I love my mother, but she has never treated my elder sister the way she has treated the rest of us....there was always an underlying resentment and harshness. The same with my Dad. My sister can drive you mad..she is clumsy, talks non stop to everyone and has no idea of what is and what isn't appropriate for common knowledge, she walks behind you all the time, and when you slow down to try and be in step she slows down too...she eats the wrong food, laughs at the wrong things, wears the wrong clothes, reads the wrong newspapers, is too loud, looks a bit funny, is vulnerable........so many 'wrongs'.......but she is strong as an ox, has no guile, is known by everyone in town, loves life and is happy with her 'things'.....her many teddy bears, her keyrings, her blue eyeshadow and cheap scents. But there is a sea change...mum is beginning to be softer with her now, there is an understanding and a gentleness and a sort of 'giving in' that is making their relationship closer.....I never thought I would see them this way, and it is, after all this time, hopeful and beautiful...for all of us.....and yesterday, as she blew out her candles and we sang happy birthday, mom smiled.....'God is good' she said.
The sky is blue......and quiet. Taking my elder sister to town today to 'treat' her to something nice for her 6oth birthday. Will have lunch out and just meander around town. I am so very very lucky to be able to have days like this.

Friday, April 16, 2010

It's Friday......therefore I am happy (ish)....get through work today and then it's the weekend!
Feel a bit devil may care, so....so...time for another list?

* I love musicals
* I hate coriander
* Once found a diamond ring
* favourite number is 27
* carbohydrate kid..love bread, pasta, cheese, potato.....
* like driving
* maths and me? that would be a big scary no...
* wanted to marry a vet and have 6 children.........married (after 2 previous engagements) an office boy and had 2 children...who have my heart
* prefer short fingernails to long talons
* do a sudoku and a crossword every day (afeared of the alzheimers!)
* still wandering along the 'will I ever have a haircut/colour that I like/suits me' highway
* do not have a sporting bone in my body and as my son says 'run like a girl'...olympics? bores me
* have been watching films my whole life and once attended a premiere in LA
* don't really do much housework anymore...just the essentials..life is too short
* can't bear the feel of silk/satin..whats that all about?
* can crochet (no I'm not ancient...just like pattern and order...mmm that makes me sound 'special' doesnt it??
* drink red wine or cava or champagne or guinness or tea or water.....
* have to go to work now.....

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Volcanic ash ....earthquakes.......death, disease and destruction everywhere......is it any wonder drinking and retail therapy are on the increase??

Monday, April 12, 2010

Had a lovely half guinness today, with my dad, in a village pub that neither of us had been to
for at least 30 years.......quite unexpectedly, we found ourselves after our weekly visit to the local supermarket, (to pick up the 'heavy stuff' that dad can't carry on the bus) diverted by road works into using an alternative route home..a route that took us past the village hall where my wedding reception was, the convent with the beautiful gardens, the canal locks...and through green and luscious farmland washed with a weak sun ....on impulse we stopped at a pub that featured in both our histories one way or another, the only patrons in a village pub that had seen better days, and reminisced......it was lovely, and although you can't go back in time, just visiting briefly was delightful.....when we arrived home late laughing, mom was anxiously wondering where we were, imagining ambulances and awfulness...........but we'd just had an adventure we said...and it was great.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Had so many plans for today......clean, dust, garden, tidy, cook etc., mmmmmmmmm......perhaps planning is not the way to go.......

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

LOOK AWAY IF YOU HATE FEET.....


I want to go...go off the tracks I'm used to moving along....tread a different path...not forever...just for a while....everybody must feel like this at this time...the start of spring/summer..wondering where this year will take us...where we will walk, paddle, climb, dance....and looking at these photos I need a pedicure (never had one) and some new shoes.....

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

I think I am unknowingly not adhering to 'netiquette'......I don't yet know quite how to manage this blogging stuff....it's only if I go back over an old post that I see someone has commented..or not....but if they have I wonder about acknowledging the comment ... or are you supposed to go over to their blog...or do both? manners make me want to say 'ooh thank you..you visited and commented'.....and I keep a list of blogs I read in my favourites in google but there must be some way to work this out.....but anyhoo...in case anyone out there has visited, read my ramblings, commented and I have failed to do the right thing...forgive me.....me and t'internet..tis a work in progress...

Monday, April 5, 2010

Don't take an 18yr old daughter with pmt out in her car (that she can't wait to pass her test and use) to practise reversing around the corner that made her fail her test last time unless you are prepared for tears and eventually shouting 'for f..k sake straighten up now...you're miles from the bloody kerb'. I am a fully paid up member of the ' this parenting lark is still such bloody hard work sometimes' club.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

I have'nt been out of the house today....was tempted now and then when the sun appeared to shine..but not tempted enough to put on shoes or coat and actually leave the warm, untidy newspaper strewn place that me and mine call home......and there was chocolate.

27.

Just for now.